The Bedraggled Ragamuffin

Every Thursday Holly Mueller from Reading, Teaching, Learning, creates a place where readers can share their spiritual journeys.  

When Holly tweeted out the theme for this week, my first thought was, "Why did I ever think I could do this?  What was I thinking"  

Then, I started thinking and realized these words are an accurate description of my faith journey.

ragamuffin - a dirty young child wearing torn clothes

bedraggled - looking untidy, wet, and dirty

When I think about my faith journey, I have been out on the streets for some time, lost and wondering where I belong -  just like a ragamuffin.  

Although I am a cradle Catholic, I have been distant from my church for awhile now.  An incident happened that made me begin to have a lack of trust in leadership.  I felt I was lied to, and I have had a hard time trusting again.  

As with most things in life, when you stop doing them, new habits form, especially the habit of not attending church.  I have many connections with people from another church who have tried to bring me into their fold.   But for some reason, I just can't break away from my Catholic roots.

Last week I wrote about my fear of being called a hypocrite.  How can a bedraggled ragamuffin write about a spiritual journey?  Can a dirty young child wearing the torn clothes of a lost faith and living "out in the streets" and away from the church, still have a relationship with God?  I think about this all the time.  

When I tweeted about concerns about the theme, Jaana, from Jaana's Writing Blog, sent me a link of quotes from the book in which Holly referred.  

This one grabbed my heart and wouldn't let go.

“We need a new kind of relationship with the Father that drives out fear and mistrust and anxiety and guilt, that permits us to be hopeful and joyous, trusting and compassionate.” 
― Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel: Good News for the Bedraggled, Beat-Up, and Burnt Out

Reading this made me think that yes, there is room for a bedraggled ragamuffin who is lost on the streets.  

I can have that relationship with the Father that drives out my fear and mistrust and anxiety and guilt.  

I can be a person who is hopeful and joyous, trusting and compassionate.

There is hope for the bedraggled ragamuffin.  

Thank you, Holly for helping me to continue on this journey.