Giving Grace

It is the night before New Years Eve and a time where everyone is sharing their favorite books of 2018 and completing their reading challenge on Goodreads.

But not me.

This past year, my reading life was placed on pause while I worked on my Master's degree.  I remember tweeting about my personal dilemma one day, and Donalyn Miller replied. It said something about how our reading lives ebb and flow and giving myself some grace.  She then led me to her Nerdy Book Club post about her own reading slump.

I wouldn't really call mine a slump; it was more of a guilt trip. I felt guilty reading when I knew I should have been reading or studying for a class or writing one of my many papers.

I know that my own reading life plays a large role in the reading lives of my students, and this bothered me. It is much more difficult to get excited about books and share them with my students when I was not reading. I felt like a fake reader. The door of our classroom, where I display my reading life, remained pretty bare the entire year. I would have former students come in, look at the door, and say, "Mrs. Eck, you're slipping."

And they were right.

Then I took Donalyn's words to heart, and I gave myself some grace. She reminded me that our reading lives ebb and flow, "alternating between reading binges and dry spells."

And that is OK.

So tonight, I look at that Goodreads reading challenge and remind myself of the reason for the dry spell. (Yes, I graduated on December 11th - one year, three months, and eleven days.)

And that is OK.

I spent some today cleaning, sorting, weeding, and re-shelving many boxes of books. I have a plan.  I welcome 2019 because I am ready to binge once again.

And that is OK.