I am always amazed when Holly chooses the theme, how that word creeps its way into my days. Maybe I go looking for it, or maybe it finds me. This week's theme of hope was no exception.
Monday evening I finished a book, The Doll Graveyard by Lois Ruby. You may be wondering what this has to do with a spiritual journey, but keep reading. This is a very creepy read, but has a wonderful message - contrary to some critics.
Shelby, the main character moves to an old family house and finds a doll graveyard filled with dolls which belonged to a little girl named Sadie who lived in the house a long time ago. Sadie was filled with anger because she thought she was not worthy of her mother's love. Shelby is filled with anger because her parents have divorced.
Shelby finds a doll and wonders why it was never buried with the rest of them. The doll actually represents what would have been Sadie's adulthood. Sadie dies at a young age, and before she died, she asked that the doll not be buried, but instead asked someone to hide the doll, "where a worthy person would find her and understand what swelled in Sadie's heart at that moment when her anger turned to hope."
There are many times when I feel like Sadie, and I don't feel worthy of God's love. I make mistakes. I feel anger. I say things I shouldn't say. I am not easy to live with. I am a Sadie.
But we are all worthy of God's love, and it is through hope where I find my worth. It is that hope which sustains my faith and feeds my hunger and desire to become a better person and become closer to God.
When I started reading this book, I never imagined it would be part of a Spiritual Journey post. Many critics say there isn't a clear message and the author doesn't wrap everything up in the way many readers would like. For me, it was a perfect message.
When I let go of those feelings that weigh me down, hope rises and I am filled with God's love. It is that feeling of hope that reassures me that I...am...worthy.