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When I was growing up, I rarely heard the words "I love you." This doesn't mean I grew up in an unloving home or had terrible parents. Neither of those would be true. Mom just didn't express her love with those three little words.
My mom showed love in other ways.
Fixing our favorite dinner on our birthday.
Donuts on Sunday nights.
Timing Sunday dinner so all four kids could be at the table.
Saturday trips to the library and Saturday nights on the couch reading our books.
Rolling my hair in pink sponge rollers to try and control my naturally curly hair.
And Christmas. Mom made Christmas extra special even when times were tough.
These days, I go and visit her in the memory care unit. I sit beside her, rub her shoulders and hands, and tell her about my day, what the weather is like outside, and what Megan and Ethan are doing. Our visits are becoming more difficult as she stares into space and mumbles a few incoherent words.
When I leave, I tell her when I will be back to see her next, hope she has a restful night, and "I love you, Momma."
And in those few minutes of our goodbye, she looks at me and clearly says three little words...
"I love you."
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Oh my Leigh Anne, this is such a sweet story that just about brings tears of envy to my eyes, bc my Alz. mom lives three states away so I do not get to sit with her daily. But she is still cognizant enough to answer the phone, so I talk to her 4 or 5 times a day. The worst calls are evenings when Sundowners hits and she's sitting in her chair crying b/c she's all alone. I don't know what to do...but I'm coming up with some ideas from things I've read. :)
ReplyDelete"And Christmas. Mom made Christmas extra special even when times were tough." Your mother's acts of love touched me. Now that I'm older I marvel at this Christmas feat even more. How did my mom do it? How did your mom do it? I'm glad you're able to physically be there for her. What an extraordinary gift for both of you. I'm sorry it's getting more difficult. You're a role model to me in your showing up. My sister and I are next in this process.
ReplyDelete(Sorry, I realize I wasn't signed into blogger.) --Steph P
ReplyDeletenewtreemom
ReplyDeleteSo. Much. Love.
Leigh Anne, I am a bit teary right now after reading this. What a lovely post about your relationship with your mom. It makes me wonder what my own kids would say about how I show my love.
ReplyDeleteWell, that made me cry. I love how tenderly you wrote this piece. You are a special daughter and your love for your mom is beautiful. Last night, I finished Lois Lowry's book, Tree. Table. Book. in which a young girl's friendship with an elderly neighbor addresses the effects of dementia.
ReplyDeleteA beautiful slice. Leigh Anne. People do show their love in different ways - evident in your mom's actions even if the words weren't spoken. I can't help contrasting this with people who DO say those words often, but whose actions are not at all loving. My heart goes out to you as you care for you mother in her decline. I went through it with my grandmother. And I rejoice at her utterance of those three words. I know they're priceless to you,
ReplyDeleteA touching story. Sometimes the words are difficult to say, but actions speak loudly. arjeha
ReplyDeleteThis is a precious description of how the exchange of love changes as child and parents age. You are also following in her footsteps by showing your love to her through your actions. The love is definitely there.
ReplyDeleteYour love shines through in this post, Leigh Anne. It’s just beautiful.
ReplyDeleteLeigh Anne, this is such a tender slice about a reality of life. Three little words are always loving words but in your Mom's case her actions filled your house with love.
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