Dear Hormonal Mother Nature,
I know you are a force to be reckoned with, and I appreciate, admire, and respect your mighty strength. But I think your hormones are a little out of whack.
Living with you can sometimes be like riding an emotional rollercoaster. I just never know what is going to set you off. One day you are having hot flashes and stripping off your clothes and spawning tornadoes from Nebraska to Ohio, and the next day you are giving me the cold shoulder with your single digit windchill temperatures.
From what I hear, tonight you will be racing toward me with your hair spinning and whipping at 60-80 MPH in a straight line, uprooting trees, blowing roofs off houses, and sending anything that isn't anchored down into the neighbor's yard or maybe into the next county.
I saw what you did last week in northern Indiana--tipping over semitrailers and throwing grapefruit size hail all because of your mood swings. That wasn't very nice, and I think you really need to get control of your emotions. Or at least go see a doctor. Maybe she can prescribe something.
I am hoping (and maybe praying) that tonight you sleep well with no night sweats and that I don't hear the sirens announcing that you are up wondering around. I need to sleep, too.
Leigh Anne, your post-menopausal friend
a space for me and other teacher-writers to share our stories.
Oh, if only she would listen. arjeha
ReplyDeleteExtremely clever letter; may Mother Nature find a balance between these extremes. Meanwhile, I do hope you weather this storm safely.
ReplyDeleteI relate!
ReplyDeleteWhat a creative format. "Dear (Hormonal) Mother Nature,..."
Say safe.
This was really fun to read, Leigh Anne! I loved all the comparisons. I'm sure a few years ago, my family could have compared ME to the hormonal Mother Nature you address in your letter.
ReplyDeleteRaging Hormonal! That map brought me right in! Hard to believe! I only thought weather like that was only possible in New Jersey! I guess Indiana is having some issues too!
ReplyDeleteThis is SO perfect, I was laughing all the way and thinking every weather person out there should read this! Post it to your local weather person's fb page! :)
ReplyDeleteI read something last week that said Mother Nature forgot to take her medication. It doesall feel a bit unhinged! -Jess Carey
ReplyDeleteOh, my gosh, Leigh Anne, this is hilarious! One day "hot flashes and stripping off your clothes and spawning tornadoes from Nebraska to Ohio, and the next day you are giving me the cold shoulder with your single digit windchill temperatures." Masterful! Such a fun read!
ReplyDelete